Even When No One Is Watching…Don’t Stop Creating

December 5, 2009. That’s the date when I first began the foray into my favorite aspect of content creation: video production. It was then that I cobbled together a little video: an unassuming stop-motion project that showed Lego creations sliding around in front of the camera.

It was poorly lit and extremely blurry due to unprecedented amounts of visual noise. The camera, a bottom-of-the-barrel 2001 Logitech device, shook erratically. And being about three seconds long, the video had no rhyme or reason. It was about as crude of a project as one could get.

Yet, this video was pivotal.

The stop-motion project was what author Eric Ries would describe as an MVP, or Minimum Viable Product.

It was not meant to wow audiences, but rather, to be a prototype for things to come; for other creative projects.

The Creative Diving Board

Since then, I’ve worked on a wide gamut of creative enterprises, including photography, poetry, and this very blog you are reading. In the video production space alone, I’ve created dozens of projects of varying types, categories, and genres. Recently, one of them was even featured in our local newspaper.

One of the biggest reasons I choose to create anything is because I derive a sense of satisfaction when someone views that thing, and comes away with a positive feeling. Whether that feeling surfaces through laughter, contemplation, or motivation, it has the same effect on me:

Pure joy.

It’s like being a baker, and having people try my cookies. If the cookies taste good and the testers come away with a warm feeling inside, then I have accomplished my mission. I thrive off of feedback, even if it’s only from a handful of people.

Yet, after over a decade of making content for people to enjoy, I’ve never had a YouTube channel hit over 100 subscribers. My social channels see very little engagement, even after several attempts at paid promotion.

I’m grateful to friends and family, who have been very supportive of these creative ventures through the years. But YouTube data shows that most viewers stop watching my content not even halfway through the length of the video. Instagram analytics are very similar, with about half of viewers skimming through the content, or exiting prematurely.

It can be disheartening.

I acknowledge that some of the issues for engagement and viewership can come from a variety of factors. Perhaps my content needs to be shorter, or more palatable to audiences. Maybe my efforts at advertising or engaging with my following could be more frequent and genuine. However, the fact remains that subscriber and viewer turnout is not what I would expect it to be; at least at this point in my creative career.

And it has discouraged me from time to time. A certain question began to taunt me.  

“If no one is watching, why create anything?”

My Breakup with Creativity

The joke is that we content creators sometimes do crazy things “for the views.” But the statement does bear some truth to it. It’s nice to be recognized for the work we do, even if the work involves something as manic as free falling from space.

While I myself can’t brag about stunts in the same category, I have spent considerable time on projects I’m proud of. Some have taken upwards of 50 aggregate hours. I’m sure other creators have numbers that way exceed that value.

But more often than not, the ROI has not been in my favor. Each video in my now-defunct gaming channel took a minimum of ten hours to edit, yet seldom received over 25 views in the first month they were live. And a quarter of those were likely from me.

Hopefully my frustration makes sense.

And it was that very frustration that led me to shelve all creative ventures indefinitely at that point in time. For two years, I opted to spend my days working overtime, hanging with friends, and playing video games. I had fun during that period, but there was always this nagging feeling in the back of my mind: A feeling that I could be spending my time more prolifically.

Certainly, I kept myself busy with activities. I found ways to occupy my time in some shape or form, but yet my mind would wander through the fields of imagination and creativity. “How could I adapt this idea into a project?” I’d ask myself, only to quickly fall back on my troubling initial inquiry:

“If no one is watching, why create anything?”

But the nagging creative thoughts persisted. Despite my best efforts, I couldn’t suppress them for long.

Until one day, they finally broke me.

The Second Chance

I dusted off my laptop.

I connected with other innovative people.

I engaged those thoughts of creativity. And I haven’t looked back since.

What changed?

As tropey as it sounds, it really all came down to my mindset.

One of the first things that I realized was how much I had previously valued others’ perception of my work. Like most people, I too enjoy the feeling of being praised for the things that I do. And even above that, I love seeing people truly like the end result of something I helped create. And if they come away from it with something positive such as a fuzzy feeling, or desire to make the world a better place: Bonus points.

But as much as I care about what others think, it isn’t everything.

The realization I came to is that I also make content for myself.

I acknowledge that this statement may come off as narcissistic and egocentric. But the reality is that I simply missed creating things during that two-year lull. The creative process provides benefits that go above and beyond mere adulation.

For one, creativity is what gets me up in the morning. It’s what gets me jazzed. There’s something inherently satisfying about taking a thought and transposing it to a visual form.

And it’s an artistic high that I never get sick of.

By coming up with new ideas and implementing them, creativity also helps grow me in different ways.

Take this blog, for instance.

It was borne out of an idea to express myself online in a literary form. But along the way, I had to overcome a number of hurdles just to get to this point. I knew very little about building a website, and had to consult techy friends and Udemy courses to learn how. The WordPress platform was a bit of an enigma, yet I resolved to navigate it so I could optimize it’s usage. Even just the mere act of blogging has inspired me to research how to be a better writer — All of these different skills I get to sharpen as a result of a single creative enterprise.

Lastly, creativity gives me a way to express myself in a way no other medium can.

When I was younger, I used to keep a daily journal. In my earliest years, the entries were mere snapshots of the day:

“I went to the store with mom.”
“I got a new toy.”
“Dad came home from work and we ate dinner.”

But as I edged into my teenage years, those entries became more emotionally charged. Hormones fueled my writing, evidenced in the introspective nature that the words took on. Looking over those scribblings now, I’m frankly shocked at how nihilistic a 14-year-old Shane seemed to be.

But why did I do it? Why did I jot my emotions down, even if they weren’t meant for eyes other than my own?

Because it was therapeutic.

Just getting my thoughts on paper felt good, a sort of cathartic release.

In some weird fashion, devising projects can be the exact same way. No, I’m not necessarily taking my emotions and turning them into a daily YouTube video. But there are times when I have turned to creative projects because I didn’t know how else to express myself.

The Art of Creativity

I feel like I’ve heard so many motivational symposiums about how with enough elbow grease and a pinch of talent, we can be anything we want to be. That with enough determination, fortune and fame are within grasp.

Not necessarily.

The truth of the matter is, few find those things, even if they are the most talented person on the planet. The numbers don’t lie. But it’s important to note that fortune and fame aren’t everything, and shouldn’t be the sole motivator for, well, anything in life. And for me, that also includes the Realm of Creativity.

“If no one is watching, why create anything?”

Yes, it is nice to be recognized for my work. And yes, I’d love to get my content out on a grand scale in front of as many eyeballs as possible.

But until that point, I’m perfectly fine with creating things for me. There’s too much joy I take in the creative process to even reconsider putting things on pause.

And to me, a moment enjoyed is never a moment wasted.

Even if no one is watching, don’t stop creating.