How to Balance Your Hobbies With…Everything Else

With how much life demands of us as we age, it can difficult to know how to balance your hobbies with everything else going in your life. I know that to be true on a personal level. I like to joke that the biggest delusion we tell ourselves is that we will “have more time” in the future.

But I have found the opposite to be true. And I have the feeling that the same goes for many others out there.

In fact, speaking of busyness: that’s a subject I’ve thought about often as of late.

With my new job back beginning in May of this year, other projects, etc — it’s becoming harder and harder to do that which I find “fun.” That is, those things I enjoy doing in my spare time, such as video games, tabletop, and catching up on the latest Marvel show on Disney Plus.

Things that some might call “Nerdy.”

A Moment of Introspection

There was a time when I had more, well, time on my hands. I think back to when I had graduated high school an eternity ago; somehow, I was fortunate enough to work full-time hours in three days. The first eight hours of my day was spent at a cabinet shop, where I’d help jump from workstation to workstation: a node in the production line to help ease things along.

The last portion of my day was spent doing a dinner shift at Olive Garden, where I was employed as a server. Sunup to sundown, I worked Monday through Wednesday. Sure, it was fairly grueling at times, but nothing could beat having a four-day weekend.

And as most teens would, I took it for granted.

I think my original mindset was to use that extra time for projects, as my creative tendencies were very active even back then. But while some of that time was allocated for projects, I can safely say most of it was spent goofing off. A lot of this, in turn, was indulging in some of my favorite nerdy pastimes.

Did I regret how I spent that time? If you had asked me that question a few years ago, I would’ve likely answered “yes.” Part of my personality is very bent on wanting to make every second count, to be as productive as possible. And looking back on that period of my life — I’m hard-pressed to say it was very productive overall.

Perhaps there’s some hindsight bias that plays into this, but I’ve since come to terms with how I’ve spent those previous years. There are some things I wish I hadn’t done, yes, but ultimately even those sucky experiences helped mold who I am today. And part of that comes from the activities and interests I took up during those several years of having copious amounts of free time.

Fast forward several years to the present, and copious amounts of spare time is not something I am able to obtain very often. And when I do, I feel like half the time I elect to take a nap. Perhaps this is just a byproduct of getting old?

But herein lies the pivotal question plaguing me for the past year or two:

How do you balance your hobbies in the insanity of adulthood?

The Pivotal Question

Or more broadly, how does one find the time to spend on their hobbies?

The fast-paced, American life does not make it easy. When we aren’t working our 8 – 5’s, we are constantly being bombarded with advertisements that tell us how we should be living our life. It can be pretty overwhelming. To the point of shutting down and doing none of those things (at least for me).

I’m sure many of us can relate to this core idea: the one of having analysis paralysis when there is too much to do. Typically, this is referenced in the context of work. We have too many emails to respond to. My boss assigns me a never-ending checklist of tasks that are due by end of week. Your client requires a growing tower of reports.

But this can also be associated with hobbies. I can’t begin to explain how many times I’ve found a spare hour in the evening, but not knowing how to spend it. There’s always another project I can work on, another TV show I can continue, another princess that needs saving in a castle.

And thus, I end up with doing none of the above.

I realize I’m almost conflating two different problems here, so I’d like to break them down: The first being not having enough time to do everything you want to do, and the second being what to do when you do have the time. But from my limited and singular experience, I’ve found that the same solution applies to both problems:

Prioritizing.

The Art of Prioritizing

You may roll your eyes at this point, as I’m sure this is not new information to you. But the knowledge is one thing; executing on it is another matter entirely.

In the case of problem 1 — not having enough time to do what you want to do — the first step is simply acknowledging that my time is limited. Perhaps I’m in the minority here, but one issue I faced was simply stressing out that I didn’t have enough spare time in the craziness of work tasks and home life.

And that much is true — there’s never going to be enough time to do everything that I want to do. Once I came to that realization, it made my life a whole lot easier, because then I resolved to restrict my focus. When I was stressing and worrying about the time I didn’t have, the irony is that the stress and worry ate into my free time, occupying my brain unnecessarily.

Instead, I try to opt for enjoying the time that I do have, however limited it might be. I’ve heard it said once that we can’t control what happens to us, but we can instead choose how to react to those things that happen to us.

“Okay great,” you say.

“I have free time. But now what? There’s so much I can do, but don’t know where to start.”

As I alluded to earlier, prioritizing is also key here, but taken in a slightly different fashion. As someone who is great about starting things but not finishing them, I have to constantly remind myself to prioritize. It’s so tempting to want to be a jack of all trades, but then all too often I end up being a master of none.

In the context of nerdy endeavors, or hobbies: to me this means picking and choosing what you want to work on and actually make some traction. I love indulging in so many activities — but in this fast-moving, vapid American life, I need to select those passions I really want to work on. For me, that would be things like as photography and film production.

In a world where there are more than 24 hours in a day and 7 days a week, sure, I’d love to be proficient at Spanish and play guitar like a virtuoso. But instead of doing a tiny bit of one activity and a tiny bit of the next (and getting nowhere), I choose to double down on those activities that are nearest to my heart at this point in time.

For me, this happens to be media production, but for you, it could be something totally different. Maybe someday I’ll pursue those other skills I want to sharpen, but in the present time, I know myself well enough to say that I operate most proficiently when my attention is restricted to a select few, rather than on too many things.

I would say the same applies to more casual forms of entertainment. I like to joke that there are two types of people: those that watch a bazillion different TV shows, and those that just watch one show at a time.

The former camp was where I used to be. In the olden days, I’d try my hand at a dozen different video games, only to have completed none of them because I’d get overwhelmed. Now, with my reduced capacity for downtime, I elect to go more for the route of singularity. That is, focusing on just a game or two and really hunkering down on completing it.

Now obviously, if I’m not enjoying the gameplay or narrative loop, I’ll ditch the game. But that’s beside the point.

Well, What IS the Point?

The point I am attempting to articulate in this late-night rant is this:

Whether it’s learning videography, or playing a video game, or some other hobby I enjoy: I have found that prioritizing has helped deepen my experience in each of these categories of interest.

This, in turn, has been my personal secret in finding out how to balance your hobbies amid all else that is going on in life.

Now, I do want to issue a massive caveat to readers if you somehow made it this far in my ramblings:

This is my experience.

Everyone is different, and I’m sure many people are way more talented at juggling a plethora of activities and making headway on all of them. Hats off to you if you are one of those people (and please teach me your ways).

This post is more for those like me: those who struggle with finding free time, and struggle with how to spend it once obtained. Even then, your path might be different from mine.

But what I can tell you is that this new way of thinking — acknowledging my situation, and reacting accordingly — has really helped me surmount the proverbial writer’s block many a time. You’ll never be able to do everything you want to do, and that’s fine.

Sometimes you have to optimize, and make the best of the hand you’ve been dealt.